Obsessive Crush Disorder
by albinotanuki
Summary: Mabel thought she was just being nice to Robbie, but when she realizes her true feelings for him, Mabel goes out to win his heart.
1. Chapter 1

Alright, my first _Gravity Falls _fanfiction. Its not what I usually write, but I'll give it a shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Gravity Falls_ or any of the characters from the show; they all belong to Disney and Alex Hirsch.

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><p>Mabel was hanging out with her friends, Grenda and Candy. They were all gathered around her Great Uncle Stan's tv watching a VHS version of <em>Tangled <em>(which is very hard to come by and Grunkle Stand didn't own any DVD or Blue-Ray players).

"Oh, I love this scene. I'm telling you, _Tangled _is the best Disney film ever."

"WHAT?! Mabel, you kray-kray!" shouted Grenda, "_Frozen _is the best Disney movie because QUEEN ELSA DON'T NEED NO MAN!"

"I like _The Princess and the Frog _because the firefly dies for love." said Candy dreamily.

A dinging sound went off in the kitching.

"My Shrinky Dinks are ready!" shouted Mabel.

Mabel rushed to the kitchen while putting her oven mits on went to take out the shrinky dinks. As she lay the tray down to let them cool, Mabel's brother, Dipper, walked in.

"Hey Mabel." said her brother as he grabbed some Pitt Cola from the fridge.

"Hey Dipper." said Mabel, "Aren't these shrinky dinks adorable? I'm planning on giving them to Robbie."

The shrinky dinks were of two cats eating melon pan.

"I'm going to make them into ear studs." Mabel smiled.

Dipper looked at Mabel inquisitively.

"You know Mabel, you've been doing a lot of nice things for Robbie lately."

"I do nice things for everyone."

"Yeah, but you've been especially Nice to Robbie ever since you got him hooked up with Tambry. First you made him that puppy sweater, then you made him a red velvet cake with googly eyes, then you made him those fingerpuppets of all the major character from _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ and _The Legend of Korra_."

"I thought his fingers would get cold while wearing those fingerless gloves and that Uncle Iroh could give him elderly advice on living."

"Not to mention, you've been stopping by his house every day."

"What ya get'n at, Dipper?"

"Mabel, we've been together since the day we were born. I know when you have a crush on a boy."

"WHAAH?!" said Mabel in shock, "Dipper, I'm all over wanting to have a summer romance, and besides, Robbie already has a girlfriend. Plus, he's older than I am, so it would never work out."

As the two were talking, Grunkle Stan walked in wearing just his boxer shorts and fuzzy slippers as usual.

"Hey Mabel, your friends were getting bored, so I decided to put _Milo and Otis _on for them."

Mabel's eyes widened in fear.

"Which version?"

"The original unedited Japanese version."

"OH GOD!"

Mabel rushed to the living room over to her friends who were both petrified in shock.

"Grenda! Candy! Are you two alright?!"

"MY CHILDHOOD IS DEAD!" shouted Grenda.

"I'll never watch kitty videos online without crying ever again!" cried Candy.

Mabel growled furiously, "I'M GONNA KILL GRUNKLE STAN FOR THIS!"

Suddenly, the door rang.

"MABEL, THAT WEIRD GOTH KID YOU LIKE SO MUCH IS AT THE DOOR!" shouted Grunkle Stan.

Mabel gasped in excitement.

"THANKS GRUNKLE STAN!"

Mabel rushed to the door and smiled as she looked up at the pale, dark-haired teenager.

"Hi Robbie."

"Hey." said Robbie in usual laid-back attitude, handing out a plate. "I've come to return the plate for that red velvet cake you gave me. It was alright, I guess."

"Thanks." Mabel smiled as she took the plate. "So... Where's Tambry? Usually I see you two hug-walking and being cutsey in public."

"Oh yeah. We broke up."

"What?!" Mabel couldn't believe her ears.

"Yeah, it just wasn't working out between us."

Mabel didn't know how to feel about this news, especially hearing it from such a cool and collected Robbie when she usually knew him to be brash and hot-headed.

"So you're not upset about it?"

"I am a little, but ever since my last break-up with Wendy, I learnt not to make such a big deal about it. Teenage romance doesn't usually last long anyways; its not like someone gave us a potion to make us instantly fall in love."

"Yeah, that would be dumb." Mabel nervously laughed.

The two stood there in awkward silence; neither one knowing what to say to one another.

"Well, it was nice seeing you, Mabel. See ya."

"Bye!" Mabel waved.

After Robbie left, Mabel went back inside the Mystery Shack. Mabel was confused; one hand, she was upset that her previous attempts to help Robbie find a girlfriend had gone down the drain, but on the other hand, Robbie didn't seem that depressed about it and, oddly enough, Mabel felt happy about it. Why?

Mabel went back into the living room and sat next to her friends.

"Mabel, you're all red." said Grenda, "Did you fall face first into some poison ivy? That happened to me once and I still feel itchy from it."

"No Grenda, I'm fine."

"I think she's just flustered from talking to that boy."

"Shut up, Candy!" Mabel blushed, "God, can't I talk to a boy without anyone thinking I have a crush on him?"

"I think its sweet." said Candy, "He is a cute bad boy and you make him smile."

"So much for having our conversations pass the Bechdell Test." Mabel sighed as she grabbed another video tape. "Why don't we finish off our movie play-date off with _Handsome Deformed Man_ starring Gerald Cutler?"

The girls cheered and they spent the rest of their time together watching the movie.


	2. Chapter 2

Mabel took time to herself, with her pet pig, Waddles, by her side, to make the ear studs she promised to make for Robbie. She glued each of the tiny shrinky dinks onto the blank studs. She smiled, imagining how cute the tiny cats would look hanging from Robbie's rounded ears. There was a strange, warm feeling inside when thinking about the teenager. This began to worry Mabel, so she turned to her pig for advice.

"Waddles, do you think I have a crush on Robbie?"

"You have been paying attention to him a lot lately." said Mabel, immitating her pet pig.

"I guess you're right." Mabel sighed, "But every time I try to strike up a relationship with a boy, it always goes wrong. I thought pairing Robbie with someone we know would help, but how can that someone we know be me? I can't go on with having a crush on him."

"Maybe you should ask The Love God for help."

"That's it!" said Mabel, "I can ask The Love God to take away my crush! Waddles, you deserve a rare white truffle."

After offering her pig a truffle, Mabel rushed as fast as she could to The Love God's van as he was packing up to leave for his next gig.

"LOVE GOD! LOVE GOD!"

The Love God turned around.

"Hey, you're the kid who was stealing my potions!"

"Yeah, sorry about—UGH, YOU SMELL LIKE CROTCH SWEAT!" said Mabel holding her nose.

"Yeah, it comes with the territory." said The Love God in annoyance, "What do you want?"

"I have a crush on Robbie and I need you to use your anti-love potion to get rid of it for me."

"No can do, Kid. I only use my anti-love potion for emergencies; I may smoke weed and charge my fans more money for my concerts than needed, but I do have my ethical standards."

"But this IS an emergency!" begged Mabel, "I don't want to continue my pursuit for a summer romance; I want to move on with my life and not think about boys!"

The Love God sighed and put his large hand on Mabel's tiny shoulder.

"Look, Kid, I know this is going to be hard to hear, but its all part of growing up and you're going to have to learn to deal with it on your own."

The Love God then walked over to the back of the van.

"I'm gonna be heading out to Boston; that place really needs my help. Take care, Kid."

The Love God closed the back of the van and the van drove off. Mabel tried to catch up with the van.

"LOVE GOD, WAIT!"

Mabel coughed from the exhaust.

"Man, I feel hungry all of a sudden."

Mabel decided to return back to the shack and munch on a pack of Gummy Koalas. As she was eating, she started to ponder about what The Love God told her.

'Maybe The Love God is right; maybe I should just accept that I have a crush on Robbie and continue from there. Who knows? Maybe it might blossom into something; I mean, its only a three year age difference; it can't hinder our relationship too much.'

Mabel then looked at the ear studs she made.

'I think I'll drop these off at Robbie's place; then I can get some closure about my feelings with.'

And with that, Mabel put the ear studs in a small satchet and headed out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**A quick note about the title of this fanfic**

The first review I received was from someone who took offense to the title I gave this fanfiction. Of course, the title, _Obsessive Crush Disorder_ is a play on the name of the condition, obsessive compulsive disorder. The title wasn't suppose to be poking fun of OCD or anyone who actually has OCD (I don't even plan on ever mentioning OCD outside of the play-on-word joke of the title), but rather on Mabel's obsessive crush that she has on Robbie. I thought most people would get the joke, but I didn't take into account Poe's Law and the joke just didn't translate as well as I thought it would.

BTW, I too have OCD, so I know what its like to live with the condition. I tend to have a pretty good sense of humor about it, so I'm not as triggered by jokes about OCD or the mere mention, but I realize I'm not everyone, so with that, I apologize for those who took offense.

With that said, lets continue.

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><p>Mabel walked over to the Valentino Funeral Home with her little sachet. She rang the doorbell and it started playing Chopin's Funeral March. Mr. and Mrs. Valentino opened the door, dressed as vikings.<p>

"Well hello there, Mabel; Its good to see you." said Mr. Valentino through his fake beard.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Valentino. I came to give Robbie a present... Why are you dressed up as people from the opera?"

"Our last customers wanted a Viking funeral for their loved one." said Mr Valentino, "We have all sorts of funerals for our customers to choose from."

"Last spring, someone wanted a New Orleans style Jazz funeral and I got to dress up as a white Priness Tiana." Mrs. Valentino smiled.

"That's nice." said Mabel, "So is Robbie around?"

"Oh sure. Robbie's in his room."

Mrs. Valentino called out to her son.

"Robert Stacy Valentino, Mabel is here and she brought something for you!"

"HOLD ON, MOM, I GOTTA GET DRESSED FIRST!"

Mrs. Valentino whispered into Mabel's ear, "Why don't you go on up into Robbie's room?"

"Okay."

Mabel then walked up the stairs. As she walked through the dark hallway, her heart suddenly started to pound hard. She then approached the poster-covered door.

'Okay, Mabel, you can do this. Just give him the studs and tell him about your feelings.'

Mabel took a deep breath and grabbed the knob.

As she opened the door, she saw Robbie, shirtless, about to put on his shirt when he saw Mabel looking at her and the two of them screamed after seeing each other.

"COULDN'T YOU HAVE WAITED UNTIL I WAS FULLY DRESSED?!"

"SORRY! I-"

Mabel then noticed the vertical scar on his chest.

"Is that a scar from heart surgery?"

"Sorta." said Robbie, covering his chest with his shirt, "I don't like talking about it."

Mabel walked over to Robbie.

"Oh, you poor thing." said Mabel in sympathy.

"You've got your hand on my chest."

Indeed, Robbie was right; her hand was placed directly onto the scar on Robbie's chest.

"OH, SORRY!" Mabel blushed as she took her hand off of his chest, "Umm... I made you these ear studs I thought you would like."

Mabel then handed the sachet over to Robbie.

'Alright, Mabel, you can do this.' Mabel thought to herself, 'Just tell him how you feel and if he doesn't feel the same way, that's fine; just move on from there.'

"So... do you usually sleep without any clothes on?"

'UGH! STUPID MABEL! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?! HE'LL NEVER ACCEPT YOUR CONFESSION AT THIS POINT!'

"Well, I should get going. Don't wanna 'brighten your dark mood' with my pressence, so I should... just get going."

Mabel walked backwards, tripped, and continue out the door forwards, slamming the door behind her.

'Well that was a bust. I guess I'm gonna have to initiate Plan B, and I'm going to need help from Joann's."


	4. Chapter 4

Robbie was sleeping soundly in his room. He rarely ever came out unless if his parents wanted him to do something or he was out hanging with his friends and most of the time, he prefered to sleep. As he tried to sleep, he felt something tickling his cheek.

"Ugh, Mom, let me sleep for another ten hours."

Suddenly, the tickling went into Robbie's mouth, along with some prickly legs and wings. Shocked, Robbie coughed it out and saw that it was a cockaroach. At first, Robbie was disgusted that something like that would crawl into his mouth, but then he saw that there was a note tied to its back. Robbie untied it from the roach's back and began to read.

'Dear Robbie,

Please meet me out in the cemetery. I have a surprise waiting for you.

Your's Truly,

Mabel.'

Curious, Robbie decided to get dressed and go outside. He went to the cementary, and to his surprise, he saw Mabel, dressed in a light yellow regency era dress and straw bonnet, along with Waddles, dressed in coattails, a high collar, and a top-hat, gathered around a picnic blanket.

"Hi Robbie. Come and join us. You can sit next to Lord Byrcon while we enjoy our picnic together."

Robbie thought about asking Mabel why she was having a picnic while dressed up as a character from a Jane Austin novel, but considering this was Mabel, he decided to let it slide and sat next to Waddles.

"Well, I guess any excuse to eat some grub sounds good to me."

Robbie grabbed a sandwich out of the picnic basket and bit into it. As he swallowed, he felt a cool, tingling feeling down his throat.

"These aren't cucumber sandwiches, are they?"

"They sure are." Mabel smiled.

Suddenly, Robbie started to cough.

"Hey, my sandwiches aren't that bad." said Mabel angrily.

But Robbie wouldn't stop coughing, Mabel began to realize that this was serious.

"Robbie, what's wrong?!"

"Allergies." Robbie coughed before collapsing while gasping for breath.

"ROBBIE!" Mabel gasped, rushing to Robbie's side, "Oh God, I'm sorry! I'm gonna get you help!"

Mabel threw Robbie's arm over her shoulder and carried him (surprisingly, he was much lighter than Mabel had expected). She rushed to the Valentino's Funeral Home, and rang the door bell furiously.

"MR. AND MRS. VALENTINO, ITS AN EMERGENCY! HURRY!"

Robbie's parents opened the door.

"Why hello, Mabel. What brings you here?" smiled Mr. Valentino.

"Robbie ate one of my cucumber sandwiches and now he's sick!"

"Oh silly Robbie; always getting himself in trouble." Mr. Valentino laughed.

"HE HAS ANAPHYLAXIS!"

"Oh its no big deal." said Mrs. Valentino.

"NO BIG DEAL?! YOUR SON COULD POTENTIALLY DIE AND YOU'RE SAYING ITS NO BIG DEAL?!"

"He'll be fine. Its not the first time something like this has happened." said Mr. Valentino, "He's had food allergies, bone fractures, excessisuve bleeding from cutting himself."

"One time he tried killing himself by jumping off a cliff after his break-up with his od girlfriend, Wendy." chuckled Mrs. Valentino, "He's such a drama queen."

Mr. and Mrs. Valentino laughed.

Mabel's mouth hung open open in horror. Hearing Robbie's parents describing such horrible things happen to Robbie and laughing about it in such a casual tone and such little concern for their son was terrifying beyond belief.

Robbie's breathing staring becoming more shallow. Mabel realized that his parents would be no help and that she had to act quick. She saw a hearse in the Valentino's driveway.

"I don't trust either of you with Robbie's health, so I'm taking him to the hospital myself!"

Mabel rushed Robbie over to the hearse with Waddles following behind.

"I'm gonna be taking the wheel. Waddles, if Robbie stops breathing, give him CPR."

Mabel looked around for a key, but was unable to find one.

'Maybe I should use a hairpin.' Mabel thought to herself.

Mabel took out a hairpin and inserted it into the keyhole. Turning the hairpin, the car started.

'Hey, that old cliché actually works!'

Mabel then pressed her foot against the gas pedal, excellerating to a high speed. Mabel tried steering, barely being able to see over the dashboard. She sped and swirved. She knocked over a couple of trash cans, mail boxes, and other objects. There were also screams as well as someone shouting "NO! ITS NOT MY TIME!".

Finaly, Mabel saw the hospital and drove near the E.R. Entry way in a handicapped parking space.

"Alight Robbie, lets gets you—AAH!"

Robbies face was now all red and puffed up like a balloon.

"Okay Mabel, no stalling; we got to get him help right away." Mabel said to herself.

She opened the door and got Robbie out with Waddles helping. Instantly, medics came over with a stretcher to help.

"Don't worry miss; we'll help." said one of the medics.

"Thanks. He has a cucumber allergy, just so you guys know.

"We'll take care of him. Just wait outside the E.R. while we stabilize him."

Mabel watched as the medics took Robbie.

"Please let Robbie be okay."


	5. Chapter 5

Mabel sat in the hallway, holding Waddles in her arms for comfort as if he was a teddy bear, waiting for news on Robbie's condition.

"I can't believe parents would ever treat their own kid like." Mabel said to herself, "Poor Robbie, its no wonder you're so emotionally disturbed."

The door to Robbie's room opened. Mabel got up and rushed to the doctor.

"Doctor, will Robbie be alright?"

"I'm sorry, young lady, but I can only disclose medical information to either a family member or a spouse."

This was frustrating news to Mabel. She wanted to see Robbie so bad and make sure he was okay, so she blurted the only response she could think of to let her see him.

"I'm his wife."

The doctor look at Mabel curiously, before turning to her clipboard.

"Alright, Mrs. Valentino, your husband is well stableized. We gave him some anti-histamines and he should make a quick recovery."

'Wow.' Mabel thought to herself, 'I didn't think that would work, but this is the town that leagalized human/woodpecker interspecies marriage, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the age of consent would be twelve.'

"Would you like to see him right now?"

Mabel nodded shyly.

The doctor lead Mabel to Robbie's room.

"I'll let you have some alone time together."

With that, the doctor left. Mabel entered into the room. Robbie was in the middle of the room, resting on the hospital bed. His face was no longer inflated and his breathing had eased since he arrived. Mabel walked over, along with her pig, and sat near Robbie's side, taking off her straw bonnet.

"Oh Robbie, this is all my fault." She sighed, "If I had known you were allergic to cucumbers, I would've made something else instead. I never wanted to make you sick; I just wanted you to... like me."

Mabel looked at Robbie. His breathing was calm, passing though his soft lips; there was a part of Mabel that wanted to kiss those lips and wake him up from his spell like Sleeping Beauty, but was too afraid to do so.

Suddenly, Mabel noticed something hiding behind Robbie's long sidebangs. She lifted it up and to her surprise, saw that he was wearing the cat ear studs she gave to him.

Mabel's eyes brightened.

"He DOES care about me!" Mabel smiled.

At that moment, Robbie was waking up.

"Mabel?"

"Robbie!" Mabel threw her arms around him, "Thank God you're okay. I'm sorry about those cucumber sandwiches."

"Eh. You didn't know. Its my fault for not checking what was in those sandwiches in the first place."

Robbie then licked and smacked his lips curiously.

"Did I get kissed by a pig?"

"I think you were just hallucinating." said Mabel, not wanting to embarrass Robbie with the truth.

There was an awkward silence between the two. Mabel looked down, rubbing her arm uncomfortably.

"Robbie, about your parents, I had no idea they treated you like that. I mean, aside from the funeral home, they seemed pretty nomal... Well, normal in comparison to everyone else in the town."

"Yeah, well, they're assholes; been that way for as long as I can remember. They'll baby me and give me dorky sweaters for me to wear on christmas, but when I'm in any sort of danger, they just smile and turn the other way."

"Did they act the same way when you had your heart surgery?" ask Mabel curiously.

"Don't remember. I was only a toddler when I had it to fix some congenital heart defect."

"I thought you said you didn't like talking about it."

"I don't. Okay?" Robbie grumpily barked, "God, you're so nosy when it comes to people's personal lives."

They both heard the door open and the doctor walked in.

"So, how's our patient doing?"

"He's doing fine. We're just talking."

"Well I'm glad that he's up and feeling better." said the doctor before saying herself outloud, "Oh, such a cute couple."

As the doctor left, shutting the door behind her, Robbie turned to Mabel.

"Couple?"

"Yeah, about that," said Mabel, pressing her pointer fingers together nervously, "I... told the doctor we were married."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" said Robbie, shooting up from his bed.

"Well I had to get information on your health status and obviously your parents aren't going to be much help."

"Ugh." said Robbie, falling back on his pillow, "Great. As if my reputation wasn't already ruined."

"Hey," said Mabel angrily, "I can be a great wife; I already know how to cut out coupons for groceries that I'll never use."

Mabel looked at Robbie, who was staring off; not in anger or annoyance, but with apathy, as if trying to separate himself from the world around. She didn't know if she had caused his detatchment or not, but she wanted to make it up to him somehow.

"How's about I sneak some butterscotch pudding from the cafeteria over to you? ...You're not allergic to that, are you?"

"Butterscotch pudding is fine." said Robbie.

"Alrighty then." said Mabel as she headed out the door, "Come on, Waddles."

"Put whipped cream on top." said Robbie.

"You got it!"


	6. Chapter 6

Mabel stayed with Robbie during after hours, spoonfeeding him butterscotch pudding, fluffing hig his pillow, and giving him foot massages while Robbie kept silent and apathetic through the most part.

The doctor walked in.

"Alright you two, check-out time will be an in hour."

"Aww." Mabel sighed in dissapointment, "Well, I guess this means our together is over."

"So who's driving me back to my place?" asked Robbie.

"I am." said Mabel.

"What?!"

"Yeah, I borrowed your parents' hearse and drove you over her."

"There weren't any casualties, were there?"

"I can't say for sure."

Mabel then went to grab a wheelchair for Robbie and wheeled him off to the hearse with Waddles following behind. She helped Robbie into the hearse.

"You know, I'm actually feeling a lot better than I was before;" Robbie said nervously, "maybe I should drive."

"No, no; you've been through too much already, so I'm taking the wheel."

Mabel then pressed on the gas and drove, swirving in every direction until they finally reached Robbie's home.

"We're here!" smiled Mabel.

"I think I need to go back to the hospital." said Robbie, with his eyes wide open and his hands clutching the dashboard.

Mabel got out from her seat, went over to Robbie's door, and helped him out of the car.

"Well, we're home." said Mabel, a little saddened that she won't be able to spend more time with Robbie.

"Thanks."

Robbie was about to head inside when all of a sudden, he turned around.

"Hey, you've been doing a lot of nice things for me lately and... maybe I should return the favor. There's suppose to be an arts and crafts festival next week I'm sure you'd enjoy and I'd like to take you there; on me. What do you say?"

Mabel's eyes widened. Was this a date? Mabel tried to find the words to express her overjoyed feeling, but all she could say was "...Okay..."

"Great. I'll pick you up in my van at around 8 A.M. before it gets crowded. See ya then."

After Robbie went inside, Mabel squeed with joy and picked up Waddles.

"You hear that? Robbie and I are gonna hang out!"

Mabel nuzzled Waddles happily.

"This is turning out to be the best thing to happen to me ever."


	7. Chapter 7

The day of the Arts and Crafts Festival had finally arrived. Mabel looked through her closet of sweaters, trying to figure out which one she should wear.

"Hmm. Which sweater would be perfect for me to wear on this day? Ah HAH!"

Mabel pulled out a lilac sweater depicting a baby fruitbat wrapped in a burrito and suckling on a pacifier.

"Just what I needed!" said Mabel, "Robbie will love this."

Mabel slipped the sweater on and went down stairs where Grunkle Stan caught up with her.

"Well, I hope you're at least happy with saving your boyfriend and being able to hang out with him cause your little game of _Grand Theft Crazy Taxi_ last week had me ending up paying a fine of $20,000. At this rate, I'll never be able to pay for the repairs to the Mystery Shack's penny pressing machine."

"Don't worry Grunkle Stan, Robbie and I won't be doing anything illegal this time; we're just going to have a good time looking at art and buying things to eat."

"Yeah, and buying lots of useless tchotchkes." said Grunkle Stan sarcastically.

"Don't you also sell useless tchotches at your shop?"

"Yeah, SELLS; big difference."

The doorbell rang.

"HE'S HERE!" Mabel chirped, "See you later, Grunkle Stan!"

Mabel rushed to the door and opened it.

"Hey Robbie!"

"Hey." smiled Robbie, "You ready to have some fun at the festival?"

"I was BORN ready!"

"Alright, come and get in my van. This time, I'M the one who'll be doing the crazy driving."

"I CALL SHOTGUN!"

Mabel ran to the purple van with the broken headlight and duct tape all over and got in the front. Mabel looked around at the interior of the van.

"Wow. You know, the interior is a lot more clean and fuzzy than I would've expected from the outside."

"Yeah, well, you can't judge everything by first appearance."

As Robbie was buckling in, Mabel looked around more at the interior. She looked at the dashboard and gasped when she spotted a CD case that caught her eye.

"The original soundtrack to _Handsome Deformed Man_; I love _Handsome Deformed Man_!"

"Hey, don't touch that!"

"Oh, we gotta put this in."

Mabel inserted the CD into the player and started singing to the lyrics.

"Come on, Robbie, sing! Sing, my spirit of melody!"

"I think I'll just watch the road and drive."

Robbie turned the keys and started driving while Mabel continued to sing to the music. They drove for some time until they came to a parking lot and got out.

"We're here." said Robbie.

Mabel's eyes widened. There were many stall tents with different kinds of painting, sculptures, quilts, knitted products, and everything else under the sun, breaming with life and color as hammer dulcimer music played in the background.

"Its like a giant Etsy store offline."

"I thought you'd like it." said Robbie.

"Oh, lets check out what all they have."

Mabel walked around until she came across a tent selling Himalayan rock salt lamps.

"Robbie, we should get one!"

"What do you mean 'we'?"

"You said everything we do at this festival would be all on you."

Remembering what he had said before, Robbie groaned.

"Damnit, kid, you got me." grumbled Robbie as he took out his wallet, "Just be glad that digging graves pays well."

"Thanks." said Mabel, before looking over at the other stall next door. "Ooh! They got knotted products made from yak wool; I hear that's suppose to be really soft and hypoallergenic!"

They went over to each stall, looking at and buying some of the products they had as well as stopping at the concession stand to buy some turkey legs, kettle corn, and dippin' dots.

"You know Robbie, I'm really having a great time at this festival."

"That at least makes one of us." said Robbie, looking inside his wallet.

"HEY ROBBIE!"

Robbie's friends, Nate, Lee, and Thompson, went over to them with Thompson strutting behind while carrying all their souvenirs.

"Oh, hey guys." Robbie mumbled.

"We didn't think you'd show up after last week's emergency." said Nate.

"And we see you and the little mis'ess are doing well." said Lee.

Nate covered his mouth while he chuckled.

"Little mis'ess? What are you ta—Oh no." said Robbie, pinching his fingers up against the ridge of his nose, "Please don't tell me you heard about all that."

"Hey, its cool; no one minds if you're married to a twelve year old."

"Hey guys, maybe we should cut Robbie some slack. After all, he's had it pretty rough last week." said Thompson nervously.

"Shut up, Thompson," said Nate, "you're ruining our fun!"

"Bad Thompson!" replied Lee.

"Look guys," said Robbie, "I promised Mabel that I would take her to this festival, so I'd appreciate it if you'd let us have some time alone."

"Sure Robbie; we gotcha." Le smirked.

Then Nate started making kissing noises.

Robbie growled in annoyance.

"Robbie," said Mabel, grabbinh his sleeve, "don't let them get to you. Just take it with a grain of salt."

Mabel then picked up her Himalayan rock salt lamp and started licking it.

"Alright, that's it!" shouted Robbie, "Mabel, we're going home!"

"But—But Robbie-"

"No 'buts'! You've been touching my stuff, spending all my money, and embarrasing me in front of my friends! I'm sorry Mabel, but festival day is over."

Robbie then turned his back and started to walk off.

"Robbie, wait!"

Mabel ran up to Robbie.

"I was feeling bad about spending all your money earlier, so I used up all mine to get you this while you were buying my dippin' dots."

Mabel pulled out a box from her sleeve.

Curious, Robbie opened the box and peaked inside. Inside the tiny box was a black titanium ring in the shape of a snake eating its tail with bright red garnet eyes.

"I saw that and I thought it would be something you'd like."

"Huh." said Robbie, "Its kinda cool looking."

"Here."

Mabel then took the ring out of the box, grabbed Robbie's hand, and place it on his finger. Robbie blushed and Mabel blushed in return.

"So..." said Mabel nervously, "do you wanna make some stuff at the kids arts and crafts table? You don't need money for that."

"I guess, sure."

"Great!" chirped Mabel, "I'm glad we're even then."

"How much did you pay for the ring?"

"$62."

"That's not enough to make us even."

"I'll see if Grunkle Stan can exploit my talents so I can pay you back."


	8. Chapter 8

Mabel was able to get her Grunkle Stan to allow het to sell her art for the Mystery Shack, mostly, with her catahumanicatacatures (which are basically humanicaticatures except you're drawing catacatures on humans bodies). She was able to make enough money to help pay back Robbie, along with a couple -12 dollar bills to help even out the larger bills.

"Well, I'm off and ready to pay back Robbie for all the crap I've bought."

As Mabel was heading out, she notinced a black-cladded figure standing near the Bottomless Pit. Mabel squinted, seeing that it was clearly Robbie from the black sidebangs and pierced ears. She gasped as she saw him spreading his arms out as if to jump; she knew that the Bottomless Pit wouldn't kill him, but he didn't know that and knowing about his history of suicide attempts, she had to stop him before he tries to push his attempt even farther.

"ROBBIE, DON'T DO IT!"

Robbie turned around, seeing Mabel running towards him.

"Mabel?!"

Mabel tried to jump out and grab him, but in doing so, both ended up falling into the pit. As they were falling down the dark hole, Mabel looked over at Robbie, who seemed rather calm, if not annoyed.

"You know, you're pretty calm for someone who's found himself falling down a pit."

"Well this isn't my first time down here."

"Hey wait a minute," Mabel remembered, "back when we had the Mystery Fair, Dipper told you to jump into this pit. Did you actually do that?"

"I've been down here long before you and your brother came to Gravity Falls; do you think I'm actually stupid enough to jump into a pit just because someone told me to?"

Mabel could only respond with "Yaaaaaooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyooooooooo..."

"Well I've been in this pit numerous times." said Robbie in annoyance.

"Oh." said Mabel, "Well this is my second time in the pit, so I know that it'll take a while until we'll end up back where we started. How about we talk in the meantime?"

"You know, I actually kinda wanted to have some quiet time alone in the pit."

"Oh, okay."

Mabel tried to keep to herself as they were continuously falling, to the point where she was biting her lip and her braces were starting to bruise them. She looked over at Robbie, who had his arms crossed and was itching his wrist; that was when she saw the white and red gauze wrapped around it.

"Robbie, have—have you been cutting yourself?"

"So what if I have? What's the big deal?"

"Robbie, its a VERY big deal; you're only ending up damaging yourself."

"Like you care."

"I care a lot; I care more than you think."

"Yeah, that's what Tambry said before going back to her cellphone and ignoring me completely." Robbie mumbled.

"Wait, is this what this is all about?"

"Tambry, my folks; nobody gives a crap about me."

"I give a crap about you; I'm giving the biggest crap right now... that came out wrong."

Robbie turned his back away from Mabel.

"Well what about Wendy? I know you two broke up, but she still cares about you."

"She was the closest to ever do so, and I screwed up our relationship bigtime."

Mabel peaked over Robbie's shoulder and saw tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Robbie, are you crying?"

"No." said Robbie as his voice was starting to crack.

Mabel's heart began to sink. She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I know what its like to feel heartbroken, Robbie; believe me, its not a pleasant feeling and there were times I wanted to forget, but that doesn't mean you're less of a person because of it. Its okay to cry, Robbie; your feelings are what gives you your biggest strength, but only if you let them out."

Robbie kept silent.

Mabel thought that maybe he was just too stubborn to be reasoned with, so she took her hand off of him and sighed.

At that moment, Robbie pulled Mabel in, wrapped his arms around her, and started to sob. Mabel blushed and her heart fluttered. She didn't know how to take these mixed feelings of pitty and joy for Robbie. All she could think of doing was wrapping her arms around him and patting his back to comfort him.

Robbie's sobbing eased after a few minutes.

"Thanks, Mabel. I really needed that."

Mabel smiled, as if to say "You're welcome.".

"So... do you usually come to this pit to give yourself time alone to think?"

"Yeah, its one of the few places I can to be alone and save time before my folks ask me to go dig another grave in the cemetery or some other favor... That, and people usually throw all sorts of things down here and I get to collect them."

Coincidentally, a magazine flew by and Robbie caught it.

"Hey, check out this... _Gifts for Neophobic Seniors_?"

"I think that might've been my Grunkle Stan's magazine."

Robbie opened the magazine as Mabel peaked inside.

"What the Hell is a percolator?" asked Robbie.

"I don't know," said Mabel, "but it looks like one of those beer mugs German people drink from."

"Yeah." chuckled Robbie, "They probably give you free Schofferhofer with your purchase."

They both chuckled.

A light at the bottom started to shine.

"Aww, the pit's coming to an end." Mabel sighed.

They both popped out of the pit and landed on their bottoms.

"AHH!" screamed Robbie, "Why do I always wear skinny jeans whenever I go into the pit?"

"You okay?" asked Mabel.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." said Robbie as he was rubbed his backside.

Mabel quickly remembered the money she had and pulled them out of her sleeve.

"Here's the money I promised to pay you back with."

"Thanks."

Robbie took the money, got up, and started to walk off.

"Hey." he said, turning his head to Mabel, "I know I complained a lot about you invading my personal life, but for this, I'm kinda glad you did, and to be honest, you're not such a bad kid."

"Glad I can be of help." Mabel smiled.

Robbie smiled back and walked off. Mabel got up and started heading back to the Mystery Shack.

"Hey Mabel." said Wendy looking over her magazine. "...Is that mascara on your cheek?"

"Nah." said Mabel, whiping the black stuff off her cheek, "Its eye make-up for men... Well, I'm off to my room; see ya Wendy."


	9. Chapter 9

Mabel sat in front of Grunkle Stan's tv, shoving popcorn in her face.

"How could you, Graziana?" she gasped, "You knew Dagne's father died in a reindeer hearding accident!"

Dipper came into the room.

"You're watching _Handsome Deformed Man _again? That's, like, the fifth time already."

Dipper decided to sit down next to his sister and watch with her.

"Okay, why is there a horse stable in the sewers?" asked Dipper

"They were there in the book." replied Mabel.

"I'm sure it made more sense in the book, but in this film, its just stupid; those horses are going to die from e. coli."

Mabel gave no response, so Dipper decided he would watch more and keep silent and sip on his Pitt Cola, but he couldn't.

"Okay, that's not a deformity; that's more like a mild sunburn. Why is this guy an outcast again?"

"Dipper, its a movie;" said Mabel in annoyance, "don't think too hard about it."

"I can't not think too hard about it; this movie is stupid."

"Robbie doesn't think this movie is too stupid" Mabel mumbled.

"Ugh. Again with Robbie?" Dipper groaned, "Mabel, Robbie is the guy who touches up his roots with black dye every two hours; do you really think he would have good taste in film?"

"I know him more than you do, Dipper." said Mabel, "Just because you two have had bad blood in the past, that doesn't mean you should place unfair judgement on him."

"He tried to brainwash Wendy with a cursed CD."

"He didn't know about the secret message in that CD, and Wendy has forgiven him for it; why can't you?"

"And you actually believe him?"

"Yes!"

Mabel angrily got up, ejected the video out of the player, and started walking out of the room.

"Mabel, where are you going?"

"To Robbie's. At least then I can have someone to talk to who likes the same things I do."

Mabel walked a few miles over to Robbie's house, grumbling about her brother.

"Stupid Dipper. He doesn't understand anything."

Mabel walked over to the door. She was about to ring the bell when she realized the door was ajar from the small crack. She decided to push the door open and peak inside.

"Hello? Robbie? Mr. and Mrs. Valentino?"

Everything seemed quiet. Nothing was overturned, so there must not've been a robbery, but Mabel was still concernened, so she went inside and headed up to Robbie's room. She knocked on the door.

"Robbie, its me. Mabel. Are you in there?"

"Yes."

"Are you decent?"

"Yes."

"Are you cutting yourself?"

"No."

"Are you planning any suicide attempts?"

"No! God, just come in already!"

Mabel opened the door and walked into the blacklight-lit room.

"Hey Robbie. Mind if I crash here? Dipper's been a bit of a jerk lately."

"That's not something I'm unfamiliar with. Sure, come crash. My parents are out on some meeting right now."

Mabel sat down on Robbie's bed. She looked at one of the sheets that had a glowing bluish-white spot on it.

'Oh God, I hope that's not what I think that is.'

Mabel put her nose up to the spot, sniffed it, and winced.

'UGH! I knew it! Canada Dry.'

Mabel looked across the room at the dry fishtank and saw the tarantula inside.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you had a tarantula."

"Yeah, Fang helps keep me company."

"Fang? I would've thought you'd name it Charlotte."

"Hey, I would NEVER name my tarantula Charlotte! That is a death sentence for spiders!"

"Sorry... Mind if I hold her?"

"Sure." smiled Robbie.

He went to go get some leather gloves.

"You might wanna wear these when holding her. She's pretty tame, but she may bite. That's how I ended up with these." he said, pointing to the red marks on his chin.

"Huh. I always thought those were just pock marks."

"I prefer to think of it as a love bite."

Robbie put the gloves on Mabel and handed Fang over to her.

"Heh." chuckled Mabel, "She looks like a giant spider plushie."

"You should see her when she sheds her exoskeleton; her whole body turns bright blue."

"I bet she'd look just like an azurite gemstone at that point."

Robbie smiled.

"You know, you're one of the few girls I know who don't get scared of Fang. Not even Wendy could handle holding her."

"Wendy? But she's hardly afraid of anthing."

"Yeah, apparently, she's afraid of spiders."

Robbie then noticed that Mabel had a VHS tape of _Handsome Deformed Man_ next to her.

"Lemme guess. You and your brother got in a fight over that movie. Am I right?"

"Yeah." Mabel sighed.

Robbie then took Fang away, putting her back into her tank, and sat down next to Mabel.

"Alright, you've heard me gripe about stuff, so I guess its only fair I hear you."

"Well, don't get me wrong; I love my brother, but he tends to have a problem with overanalyzing things to the point where its no longer fun. Anyways, we were watching _Handsome Deformed Man_, he started to nitpick the movie, and I got angry."

"Uh huh."

"Of course, he's not the first person I've met who's had a hard time seeing past the surface; other people have a hard time understanding the film. They often don't understand about Dagne's loneliness after her father's passing or how Beals was made an outcast because of his deformity. Also, that the one person he was in love with was in love with the much more handsome Count Raphael despite all the help he tried to give to ONE person he could connect with rejected him just like that. Its so unfair and such a tragic story, you know?"

Mabel sighed, falling flat on her back on Robbie's bed.

Robbie looked at Mabel. He wanted to say something to her to cheer her up, but he didn't know the words to do it; he was never good with trying to comfort others with the right thing to say, even back when he was dating Wendy. He looked at the tape and picked it up.

"You know, I think we have our old VHS player around if you wanna watch together."

"I'd like that." Mabe smiled.

"Okay, I'll go get it from our attic."

Robbie went upstairs for a few minutes to retrieve the tape player and came back.

"I hope this still works." he said, blowing off the dust that the player had collected.

Robbie went over to the tv in his room, set up the tape player, put the tape in, sat next to Mabel, and turned on the movie with his remote. Robbie then started to chuckle.

"What is it?" asked Mabel.

"Look at the chorus dancers on the corner right of the screen."

Mabel looked at the screen, even squinted, and saw the chorus dancers making suggestive movements with their fingers and hips.

"Oh my God," Mabel laughed, "I never noticed that before and I've seen this movie a bajillion times."

"I know, right?" said Robbie.

"Wow. Hope the choreographer didn't quit his day-job, cause that's—that's pretty bad."

Mabel's favorite scene, where Beals took Dagne to his lair and sings to her, appeared. Mabel smiled and lay her head on Robbie's side. Robbie blushed, feeling Mabel next to him. Again, he had no words to say to her; the only thing he could do was put his hand on Mabel's shoulder.

"Robbie, were there ever times you felt like the Handsome Deformed Man?"

"Eh." said Robbie.

"You wanna know what I think?" said Mabel, placing her hand on the bleeding heart symbol of his hoodie, "I think you connect on a deeper level than most."

Robbie kept silent. He turned his attention back to the tv and they both continued watching.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been a week since Mabel and Robbie had last been together. Mabel had decided she would have a little time from Robbie so he wouldn't get too annoyed with her stopping by his place everytime. She decided she would fill the time by making pinecone birdfeeders with cinnamon red hots and Nutella.

"Isn't Nutella bad for birds?" asked Dipper, sitting across from the kitchen table.

"If Waddles likes eating them without any problems, then the birds will like them without any problems."

Mabel gave one of the birdfeeders to her pig as he munched on it.

"Well I wouldn't recommend it, but I'm too busy cracking this code in our journal."

"Maybe I can help, Bro-Bro."

Mabel looked over Dipper's shoulder and read the code.

'WIRMP NLIV LEZOGRMV.'

"Well, I'm stumped." said Mabel, "I'm gonna go hang these birdfeeders outside."

"You do that." said Dipper as he was biting his pencil, trying to crack the code.

Mabel grabbed her birdfeeders and proceded out the door. She began hanging each birdfeeder on every tree branch she came across until the forest started looking like Christmas.

"There. That should make the birds happy."

Mabel was ready to head back to the Mystery Shack when she spotted two black hooded figures hurrying through the woods.

'Wait a minute, I thought we disbanded the Society of the Blind Eye.'

Mabel thought about running to get Dipper to follow them, but the two figues kept moving and it would be too late for both Dipper and Mabel to follow wherever the two figures went, so she decided to investigate herself.

Mabel followed the two figures until they came to a boulder. The figues pushed the boulder to reveal a secret entance way and went inside. Curious, Mabel went over to the boulder, pushed it, and went into the entrance way.

It was dark deep down; only lit by a few candles. She followed the path until she came to a room, decorated with pentagrams, alchamaeic symbols, voodoo dolls, and bones of all shapes and sizes. Mabel felt an uneasy vibe from what she had seen. She was about to leave when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked behind her, seeing the two black figures towering over her before taking off their hoods.

"Well howdy doo, Mabel!" said Mr. Valentino.

"Happy day!" said Mrs. Valentino. "Now, I'm sure you're very confused about what's going on."

"You see," said Mr. Valentino, "we're not just funeral directors; we also double as necromancers."

"You have sex with dead bodies?" asked Mabel in confusion.

Mr. and Mrs. Valentino laughed.

"No. We bring dead bodies back to life using dark magic." said Mr. Valentino.

"Oh, that's good to know" said Mabel, "So... does Robbie know about all of this?"

"Oh absolutely not." said Mr. Valentino, "He doesn't suspect a thing."

"Well now I do."

Both Mabel and the Valentinos turned around to see Robbie standing in the entrance way.

"Mom, Dad, what is this place, and... why does it look so familiar."

Both Mr. and Mrs. Valentino looked at one another. Mrs. Valentino went up to her son and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Robbie, please try to understand. You were very sick and the doctors couldn't do anything about your heart condition, so we had to take certain measures to bring you back."

"Bring me back?" said Robbie as his eyes started to widen, "You mean I DIED?!"

"Now you see, Honey, this is why we had to keep this a secret." said Mr. Valentino to his wife, "Now he's going to be mentally scarred for the rest of his life."

"I was ALREADY mentally scarred before finding out about all this!" screamed Robbie as he pushed his mom's arm away from him.

"Sweetie, we only wanted you to live a normal life as possible." said Mrs. Valentino.

"We live in a funeral home next to a cemetary in the middle of a tourist trap; my life is anything BUT normal! By the way, laughing and ignoring any of the dangers I get into isn't normal for loving parents to do, even if I am an undead zombie!"

"Whoa." said Mabel, "The guy I've been crushing on was a zombie all along."

Mabel looked up, seeing everyone staring at her.

"You all heard that, didn't you? DARN! POOP DARN!"

"Well Robbie, we won't punish you for finding out our secret," said Mr. Valentino, "but I'm afraid your little girlfirend will have to be dealt with."

"WHAT?!" gasped Robbie.

"I'm sorry, but she knows too much. We can't have her blurting out to everyone about performing necromancy." said Mr. Valentino.

"You know how much people get upset when they hear you've been using black magic to raise the dead." smiled Mrs. Valentino.

"No I don't, but never the less, I'm not letting you hurt Mabel."

Mabel's eyes widened and her mouth broke into a giddy smile, hearing Robbie would protect her.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, son." said Mr. Valentino

"You know, I think we get the bone golem to settle this." said Mrs. Valentino.

"Oh I agree."

"Wait, bone golem? What?" asked Robbie, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

Robbie's parents both held hand as they started chanting. The bones that scattered around the room started to assemble, creating a hodgepodge of jumbled bones stacked together to make a large, humanoid beast. The golem reached its large claw out and Mabel as she screamed.

"Oh, hey, a wishbone."

Mabel reached out for the wishbone on the bone golem's finger and broke it in half. The golem screamed, letting go of Mabel. Robbie ran over to Mabel's side, helping her up.

"Come on, lets go!"

They both started running out to the entrance way as the bone golem chased after them. They kept running from the beast even after escaping from the underground layer; while the beast was slower than the two kids, it was very persistant and kept coming after Mabel and Robbie even when they felt safe when they got to a far enough distance.

Mabel and Robbie reached to one of the town shops, trying to catch their breaths. They had to run again before the bone golem caught up. Robbie looked across the entry way of the shop, eyeing a Pitt Cola vending machine; an idea popped to his head and he started kicking and punching it.

"Mabel, help me burst open this soda machine!"

"But what about the bone golem?"

"If there's anything I've learnt from being around dead bodies is that bones desolve in acid."

"Do you think it'll be enough to stop it?"

"Have you read the ingredients in Pitt Cola? It's amazing the FDA allows it to be sold to the general public."

The bone golem was now only a few feet away. In a panic, Mabel kicked the vending machine until it started squirting out peach-colored soda. The bone golem screamed a horrific shrill as its body was being dissintegrated until there was nothing left of the monster. Robbie and Mabel sighed and collaped to the ground simotameously.

"God, that was fucking intense." said Robbie as he was trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah, it was." said Mabel.

Robbie turn his gaze over to Mabel, who was now holding her legs and looking at the ground.

"Hey, its over; we don't have to deal with that thing anymore."

"Its not that." said Mabel, "You heard me blurt out that I had a crush on you. I know you don't feel the same way about me."

Robbie sighed.

"Mabel, I don't know what I feel for you. I guess in a way I've been selfish in wanting someone to care for me, even if our moments together DID go into some weird territories."

"Yeah, me too I guess." sighed Mabel, "But look at it this way; your parents cared enough about you to bring you back from the dead... You don't have a craving for human flesh, do you?"

"If I did, I would've eaten your brother the first day we met."

Mabel laughed, but then blushed with the realization of what he had said.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't."

The two fell silent; neither one knowing what to say to the other.

"So... how were able to find me and your parents' lair?" asked Mabel, finally breaking the silence.

"I followed you." said Robbie, "I was heading to your place to give you this."

Robbie then handed Mabel a music CD case with the words "Songs for Mabel" written on it.

"I wrote them for you, and no, there's no hidden message in them; play it backwards if you don't believe me."

"I believe you." Mabel smiled.

Robbie smiled back and both he and Mabel hugged.

"You know I just realized something." said Robbie, "That bone golem was able to feel pain."

Mabel looked down at the large puddle of bubbling Pitt Cola. Not only had the realization of having a living being dissolve in acid make her eyes widen and her mouth gape, but also the fact that she fractured off a piece of the bone golem's finger.

"Oh GOD!"

"I feel so bad right now." said Robbie.

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS ARE WE?!" cried Mabel.


End file.
